A Slightly Too Clinical Examination of the Common Cold

Greetings dear readers. I thought I would make a much less serious posting today, and hopefully, it will be somewhat entertaining, too. 


I’ve had a cold this past week. This time, like every time, the sickness goes through several stages.

First, you notice the warning signs of being sick. For me, this is usually a sore throat that comes and goes for a few days. You constantly tell your body, “please don’t be sick, don’t be sick, just be a one day allergy.” After this happens the second time in a few days, I begin taking my “preventive cold” treatments (aka Delsym every 12 hours).

Next, one day you wake up and before you are fully awake, you know something is wrong. This was me this last Wednesday, I guess. I woke up with a horrible sore throat and nothing seemed to help. 

images-1Then one day you wake up and the first words out of your mouth are “I’m Siccckk.” At this point, you would do anything to feel better. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t move, it hurts to think or do anything at all. You are coughing non-stop and your nose is running hundreds of miles every hour. At this point, you are on a full treatment to get rid of the cold as quick as possible. For me, this is CVS Extra Strength Pain Relief every 4 hours, Robitussin Peak Cold every 4 hours, and Delsym every 12 hours. I also eat a handful of marshmallows every few hours – they do wonders to make the throat feel better.

The next stage is a full-on cold, you just want to die. The pain and aches are so bad. You can’t think at all. Food doesn’t taste right. Your cat won’t even pay attention to you since you’re so sick. You’re really fussy at this point. The seconds just seem to crawl by. You can’t remember what it feels like to be a normal human.

Then, finally, you start to feel a bit better. At this point, you keep telling your body, “good body, good body, stay well, don’t get sick.” You wait and see if your body listens. You move around and see if you still feel better. 

Following this, very briefly, you wish you were sick again. Just very briefly, you kind of miss the “zombie state” of existence – when you didn’t and couldn’t worry about any of life’s pressures. Being sick, in it’s own strange way, gives you a chance to really get rested up – and you wanna get as much rest like that that you can.

The last stage is when you realize you are well and that you actually never want to be sick again. You do everything possible to stay well and you are especially on guard to any germs around you for at least a few days.

Thanks for reading. Expect one of my usual hard-core postings soon. 🙂